Mistaken Fortune
by AssortedScribbler
Summary: Can an accidental slip on Eddie’s part finally realign the course of destiny we all know should have run so much smoother? Reddie. Two parter.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Waterloo Road, it's affiliates or anything like that. I just like messing around with the characters.

**A/N:** I've been working on this on paper since… well, for a long time. Probably since the third or fourth episode of Series 4 and it's probably the longest piece I've ever written, but it was completely worth it. I've never felt so easy spending time in another character's head before, if that makes sense to anyone but me. I really enjoyed writing this one, and I hope you enjoy reading it. It's set a week or so after Mel asks Eddie to move in with her and Philip, I know, dark days we would all rather forget but I had to do it. I also opted for him moving in with them since it worked for this fic and we never did know either way. Whichever they did choose in the series, disregard any episodes after that event which I suppose makes this slightly AU now. And please, please do leave a comment, they make all the trouble I get into for spending my time ignoring my actual work worth it!

**Summary:** Can an accidental slip on Eddie's part finally realign the course of destiny we all know should have run so much smoother? Reddie.

**Mistaken Fortune**

Chapter One

Rachel Mason sighed and gently towel-dried her wet hair as she took the first few steps out of her bathroom, the door she'd opened to get out allowing the billowing, perfumed air from her shower onto her landing. It was Sunday, the one day a week she allowed herself to just be, without thinking about the various obligations on her time and her mind, and she was enjoying every minute. She'd gotten up very late for her, 11:00am she'd slept in until, and had proceeded to take a very leisurely shower, using her favourite and as it happened, most wonderfully scented shower gel and shampoo, and was just thinking about which movie she could watch and whether she could put off doing her weekly shop for another day when she heard a thump outside her front door.

She froze. That was not a good sign. Her peaceful morning abruptly derailed, she waited by her banister, watching the blurred shape of whoever was on her doorstep moving something around their feet and then straighten, through the frosted window pane. Disappointedly lowering the towel from her hair, she spread it gently over the railing in front of her and combed her fingers lightly through her hair, admittedly an easier task now than it had been a few months ago because half the length she had possessed was now no longer there, though part of her missed the wave of caramel hair she'd had. Eyes still trained on the smoky glass set in her front door, she padded silently down the stairs, one hand grazing the banister as she pulled her robe tighter around her with the other.

Then came the sound she'd been dreading, the noise that meant she would not be getting to watch her favourite film or avoid thinking about the outside world for another couple of hours. Whoever was on the other side of her front door had knocked, not timidly but there was definitely a certain reticence to the sound, as if the unknown person was not sure they should be there. Flicking a glance in her hall mirror, checking her scar was well covered and she at least looked semi-presentable, she gathered her robe around her neck out of habit and slid back the lock, pulling the door open cautiously.

On her doorstep, looking distinctly uncomfortable and ruffled, was Eddie Lawson. Frowning, she peered around her door and wished she'd answered his knock in more than her admittedly thick but not particularly sensible robe. Eddie, for his part, did not seem any happier upon seeing her open the door, just resigned, which once she might have reacted to but could not work up the energy to banter while stood in this predicament. Thankfully, she did not catch the way his eyes lingered over the hand at her throat or on the curve of her hips, which was made evident by the tie at her waist.

"Eddie?" She questioned instead, moving slightly further around her door and for the first time taking in the suitcase and assorted plastic bags littered around his feet. She tried not to react but felt both her eyebrows rise a little anyway, before shifting her gaze back to her Deputy.

"Melissa chucked me out." He offered as an explanation, motioning towards the bags and looking, Rachel couldn't help thinking, a little bit forlorn. She pressed her lips together, knowing what he had not asked was more important than what he had voiced. Her current thoughts regarding Eddie and her sister's relationship were not favourable, to say the least, but her warmth towards Eddie could not be overcome by her bitterness at his decision. She took a swift breath and stepped back, opening the door slightly.

"You'd better come then." She vouchsafed, letting him into her house despite the warning in her own mind that it was _not_ a good idea. Determined to get a handle on the various emotions now at play inside of her, she held the door open and waited as he lugged his assorted baggage inside her home, a stubborn silence surrounding him that told her she would have to open conversation again once he'd finished. As the last bag made it over her doorstep and was deposited at the bottom of her stairs, Rachel was eventually forced to ask the pressing question. The awkward silence was not like them at all. "Why did Melissa…?" She drifted off as his eyes darted away from hers, telling her without words that she most likely did not want to know the answer to that question. Despite her not finishing, he seemed to want to answer and almost forced himself around to face her.

"I was trying to tell her that I loved her and… I… said someone else's name." His voice was very quiet, trying to soften the blow perhaps, and yet Rachel still flinched. Desperately, she tried to think of her sister, the little girl she'd taken care of since she could remember, how hard this had to have been for her, how devastating. This way, Rachel did not have to fathom how much this was going to hurt herself. Folding her arms around her rapidly cooling body, she pushed the door closed to give her face a second to become unreadable and banish her thoughts from her irises, before turning back to her friend, though she did not meet his steady gaze. She didn't trust herself enough to look him straight in his eyes.

"What did Mel say?" She managed to speak around the sizeable lump in her throat, though her voice shook audibly. Again, she winced, this time at the show of weakness on her part.

"That she knew all along. That we were kidding ourselves." His tone was low, flat, but she could still detect a faint trace of the bitterness she knew so well from her own experience.

"Oh." She answered, though there was more confusion than understanding in the sound. Rachel couldn't work out what the undertone was here, something serious was just under the surface and she couldn't figure out what she was missing. Eddie didn't seem ready to give her an answer yet either, despite Rachel being aware he had to know she'd figured out there was something he wasn't saying.

"She didn't want me in the house anymore, which was fair enough, but I don't have anywhere else I can go. Don't make me ask Rachel." It took a moment of concentration, but she managed not to betray the tug his words caused within her. Conflicting emotions began to storm inside her as she finally risked a tiny glance up into his eyes and saw desperation mixed with something much warmer, which confused her even more. Darting her gaze away, she slipped past his imposing presence into her living room; it was strange, she hadn't felt so aware of him in quite a while, now the once-familiar sense of him was rapidly overcoming her mind. She heard him follow her through the doorway, wishing almost that he hadn't. It was harder to think clearly when he was close.

"Look, Eddie," she managed to say after a few moments, putting a lot of effort into finding her sensible side again, "you can stay for a few days but-" She didn't want to refuse, but what choice did she have? Her control of late had been tenuous at best, she could not be constantly around him, it would be unbearable.

"But?" He cut in sharply. "Oh don't worry Rachel, I'll stay out of your way." If his voice had been any harsher, she would have said he'd spat that at her, but even when he was angry, and she acknowledged he had a right to be, he still somehow made it sound better, like it was his fault as well, not just hers. She heard his feet scuff her carpet, turning to head for the stairs probably, his expression likely every bit as bitter as his voice, and Rachel felt the familiar wave of guilt she always felt for treating him differently because of what he had with her sister. Hurriedly, she called after him, turning to face him at last. She owed him an explanation, one she knew she could not give, for being so reluctant. It wasn't his fault; it was hers, as always.

"Eddie, it's not like that. I just – I don't do the entertaining thing much." It was a limp apology and a worse explanation, but the best she could do for the moment. Despite that, it seemed to restore some of his humanity and his voice softened slightly as he turned back to her.

"Like I said, I'll stay out of your way." That was a slight improvement but she could tell he was still angry with her – she knew he held that right, was entitled to it, but wasn't sure that was the reason he was glaring a little. Letting out an inaudible sigh, she let him go with a nod and padded out of sight of the door, to her landline's handset, which was lying on the sofa.

"Bedroom's upstairs, first door on the left." She lifted her voice so he could hear her then listened for him picking up his bags and starting up her stairs, no doubt with a dark expression her feeble words had done nothing to lift. Taking a slow breath, she bent slightly to pick up the handset and dialled a number she knew so well by now, then slipped the earpiece under her still damp hair so she could listen. After a lot of waiting, far too much for it not to mean something, her sister picked up.

"Melissa Ryan speaking." That voice, which was usually so bubbly and alive, sounded incredibly irritated and Rachel practically recoiled from it before answering, in a much more cheerful voice than she had previously thought she was capable of faking.

"Melissa, it's Rachel." There was a beat as she waited for a reply, probably Mel deciding what reaction to choose.

"Oh hi. Rachel. Great to hear from you." The rancour that dripped from her sister's voice sent a shiver down Rachel's spine, it wasn't like Mel at all and did a good job preparing her for what would likely turn out to be a very unpleasant conversation, though she'd yet to understand exactly why she was on the receiving end.

"Mel, what's going on?" Rachel questioned, hunching her shoulders, making sure she could not be seen from the door.

"I'm sure Eddy will explain it when he gets there, if he's not arrived already." Thinking quickly, Rachel decided not to tell Mel that her Deputy was already there, feeling sure that it would do more harm than good. Instead, Rachel played as innocent as possible in the hopes she would draw more answers from her sister than she had from Eddie. If indeed she wanted to hear the answers.

"Why, what's happened?" Rachel bluffed, her concern real but better conveyed than it might have ordinarily been.

"Like I said, he can explain." There was something going on here; something that was making her sister not just hostile to Eddie, but her as well, and she was determined to find out what it was.

"No, come on Mel, what's wrong?" The question hung in the air around her, both desperate to be answered and ignored at the same time.

"We're finished Rach. Over. He's not coming back here again." There was a disturbing finality to her sister's tone that she fought against half of her rejoicing over while the other half of her was shot through with worry.

"Why?" She let the concern show through in her voice as she gripped the phone a little tighter.

"He doesn't love me, Rach. He never did." Rachel felt a twist of guilt choke her for a second, as she wondered who could have captivated Eddie so completely that he'd even given his feelings away to her sister.

"What are you talking about? I've never seen someone more smitten than Eddie was with you!" Rachel tried to keep her voice low, but she was also trying to swallow the emotion rising in her own throat.

"Why did he say someone else's name, then? He was saying 'I love you' and it wasn't to me!" Rachel was so confused about how she was feeling, she was trying to take into account her sister's feelings without letting her own cloud the issue, she nimbly avoided asking the one question that would probably solve her burning throat and concentrated on Mel's slightly shaking voice.

"Mel, did you talk to Eddie about it before you packed him off around here? It might just have been a stupid mistake, you know he doesn't always say the right thing."

"It wasn't a mistake." Melissa ground out from between what Rachel suspected were tightly clenched teeth. "I've known for a while it's not me that he really cares about. We had a good time, and I enjoyed every second we had together, but I knew, I knew this would happen eventually."

"Knew what would happen? Mel, you're not making sense." She knew she was purposefully clouding the issue, not wanting to understand because while Eddie being with her sister had been hard enough, seeing him with someone else was just too difficult to bear. But it seemed her sister had finally lost patience with her.

"It's you, Rachel! He's in love with you!"

Her sister's words attacked Rachel's mind, stealing her sensibility and freezing her entire body. She couldn't process the idea for a minute, and when she finally allowed her sister's voice to echo in her mind, she wished she hadn't. The guilt swelled to practically poisonous levels, telling her what she'd always suspected, confirming all her darkest fears, but even that was not enough to blanket the faint spark of hope, the flicker of pleasure she knew she shouldn't feel at the knowledge Eddie's feelings for her had not been dissolved upon seeing her scar. "Rachel?" Melissa's voice over the phone intruded on her thoughts and she shook herself, trying to find an appropriate response, which her ragged and very audible breathing certainly wasn't.

"Mel, how on earth can you know that?" Rachel asked shakily, unable to find anything else to say.

"I told him. He didn't deny it." The older brunette felt her breath hitch at her sister's words but tried not to show how much the words meant, how much they shouldn't have meant.

"Mel, maybe he was just confused, I'm sure-"

"He wasn't confused Rach. I should have seen it really. Anyway, he's bound to be round there soon." Panicking, she remembered the man probably slumped on her spare bed upstairs; she understood now the undercurrent that had flowed from him in their previous conversation. He blamed her and he blamed himself for the dissolution of a relationship he had been happy in, yet she sensed part of him was relieved the deception with himself and the people around him was finally over. He was glad to be here, with her, though he wasn't about to voice the thought yet. Rachel shook her head, so confused she wasn't sure if she just wanted that to be true or if it actually was.

"Why the hell did you send him around here?" Even to her own ears, her voice was strained, and while she expected hostility from her sister at the tone, she was surprised after a few words.

"Well, where would you have him go? Anyway," Melissa's voice paused and Rachel heard her sigh over the phone, before continuing in a somewhat gentler tone, "I think you two need to talk, properly, not your usual 'Yeah, I'm fine' crap. He might be the one who can help you Rach, he'd be a good thing for you. And don't bother telling me he means nothing, I know you'd be lying." The insight her sister showed into her own heart let alone Eddie's was a surprise, an uncomfortable thought because naturally, Rachel did not like anyone getting that close but in another way, it was wonderful that even though she doubted Melissa, her sister did understand at least part of her.

"Mel, if there's any chance you two could sort this-"

"No, there isn't. I can't be with someone while he's in love with someone else; it's not fair on either of us. Just talk to him Rachel, it can't do any harm." Rach was about to point out it could do a lot of harm when she heard Eddie coming back down the stairs and she knew she had to get off the phone. She didn't want Melissa to know she'd been, not lying, but not telling the truth.

"I don't know about that. I've got to go, I'll call you later." Rachel hurriedly replied, trying to lower her voice without Mel realising she was doing so, turning even further away from the sounds Eddie made as he moved down her stairs, in the hopes she would be able to place the handset down out of sight before he came in. She had thought he'd stay in his room and fume for a little while before resurfacing; now she wasn't prepared. She waited for her little sister to say goodbye then hung up, slipping the phone onto the nearby chair just as she heard him reach the door.

"That Melissa?" A familiar voice asked, all traces of his temper from earlier evaporated and the soothing tone was more than enough to calm her as well. She felt her uneasiness fade as she whipped around, trying not to look too guilty. Unconsciously, she'd already made the decision not to tell him she knew what he'd said; she wasn't ready for the discussion that would follow and would not be able to stand the awkwardness inevitable afterwards. Especially not if he was going to be living here while they tried to deal with it.

"Err yeah. She's not in a particularly talkative mood from what I can tell." Rachel replied, her eyes skipping past him as she pulled her robe slightly tighter around her body. She felt so exposed. Even though it was his mistake, his feelings that had been revealed, she still felt so unbearably vulnerable. Probably a consequence of Melissa's cutting comments early, though her robe, which was a far cry from her usual formal attire, wasn't helping. She could feel Eddie's eyes burning into her and she avoided returning the look, instead starting forward and moving around him to go upstairs and get changed.

"Did she tell you-" Eddie began, but Rachel knew him well enough to know exactly what he was about to ask and, like she'd already concluded, she wasn't ready.

"No." Her voice was low, but firm. Resolute. To tell him he was not to ask that again. "She was pretty upset. She didn't really want to talk to me." The hurt from not being to convince her sister to confide in her still stung, drawing honesty that she realised a second after speaking was a massive mistake. It would only make him try and explain, which was what she had determined he would not do, so she cut across him again.

"Well, that might be-"

"I'm going to do the food shopping after I change, is there anything you want?" It had been a flash of inspiration, getting away from Eddie under a suitable explanation that would hopefully allow her to be out for as long as she needed, and give her time to process and distance herself. But, if her perception wasn't altered by her own hopes, she could have sworn she saw a flash of disappointment on her Deputy's face as she spoke.

"No, that's alright. I'll get my stuff." No, she had been right, there was definitely an edge of dissatisfaction to his voice. Again, it tugged at her, drawing a spike of nicety from Rachel, even though she'd been trying to keep as icy as possible.

"If I'm going, Eddie…" The olive branch made him smile a little and she couldn't help but return the action.

"Alright. Beer?" That almost made her laugh.

"Anything specific?"

"No. Just alcohol." There was a lightness to his expression as he answered, a joke that always provoked the same feeling from her, despite trying for the opposite.

"You are not getting legless under my roof, Mr Lawson." Her voice was playfully stern, her eyes beginning to shine.

"Not even a little?" He whined, shoving his hands in his pockets and inclining his head, with all the attitude of a five year old.

"Most certainly not." She returned, folding her arms with a mock-stubborn tilt of her head, sending her slightly curling damp hair falling over her face.

"But Miss Mason!" Eddie protested childishly, and Rachel smiled amusedly in return, unable to keep hold on the urge to laugh. In the back of her mind, she acknowledged they should not be getting along this well, considering the various emotions as play here; where has all her awkwardness from earlier disappeared to? How did Eddie _always _manage to disable her defences so easily?

"That's my final word on the matter. Anything else apart from alcohol?" Rachel enquired, moving past him and pausing at the doorframe with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, if you get the stuff for a curry or a stir-fry, I could cook one night. To say thank you." He shrugged, eyes cautiously searching out hers and she had to concentrate again on suppressing the touched smile at his thoughtful words.

"You don't need to do that, Eddie. It's only for a few days." She reminded, determined to keep the boundaries for now.

"I want to, though." His voice was so wonderfully honest, so caring and she had to keep a seriously tight hold on her reaction before it could betray how much those words had meant. There was a flicker of thought in her mind that clarified, just in case it wasn't clear enough already, what a spectacularly bad idea it was to let Eddie stay, let him do anything for her, because she knew part of her welcomed the closer contact that had been missing virtually since the start of term. She could not bring herself to refuse the determined and gentle look in his eyes though, not when the thought was a kind one and for her benefit.

"Alright." She relented, before she felt a spark of mischief light her eyes and she continued with a slight smirk, "You can cook then? I'm not going to be on standby with a fire extinguisher, am I?" Rachel joked, leaning a hand against the wall beside her as she partially turned back to him.

"What exactly are you implying?" He returned, mock-outrage not quite swallowing the sparkle in his eyes and his smile, which was reflected in her own expression.

"Nothing at all. Just that I would like my kitchen still standing by the time you're done." Rachel shot back, her serious expression also belied by the happy light dancing in her caramel orbs.

"Ha! Funny. Not. Well, you'll be taking all this back when I do cook for you." Eddie prophesied with a proud smile. "I'm fully domesticated, you know." He added, pretending to huff and leaning against the chair back behind him.

"We'll see, won't we? I might pick up a fire blanket while I'm out, just in case." Rachel smirked fully then, and she caught the narrowing of Eddie's eyes at the joke but slid away and up her stairs before he could reply. Her heartbeat, she could tell, was slightly elevated and she could barely keep the smile she was dieing to wear down. Was it excitement? Happiness? Nerves? She couldn't identify exactly what she was feeling but she would have to put a sharp lid on it before she faced Eddie or Melissa again.

Slipping into her bedroom, Rachel leant against the door and closed it behind her, taking a deep breath. Eddie and Melissa were no longer together. Finally, the thought was allowed to register completely and although she knew it was wrong, she could not stop the flash of gladness that went through her at the realisation, making her slightly giddy and her knees feel a little weak. She would no longer have to avoid the Staffroom, or Eddie or Mel's classrooms, would not have to stand by and watch the chance she hadn't taken being thrown in her face at every seeming opportunity.

She wouldn't have to lie to Melissa about her love life anymore. She wouldn't have to hide her feelings behind quite so many layers of defences around Eddie now. She might even get her full-time Deputy back. Not that she resented the time he spent with Mel, but she couldn't deny she'd missed his company. There were so many opportunities they'd missed to spend time together this term, and although part of her fought how she was feeling, she knew she wanted to make up for lost time.

Shrugging off that uncomfortable thought with her robe, she averted her eyes purposefully from any of the mirrors before yanking a pair of jeans and a dark forest-green roll-neck from her wardrobe and getting dressed while looking at herself as little as possible. Brushing on a little, faintly-coloured lip balm, she grabbed her purse and mobile and slid them into her pockets. Finally glancing at herself in the mirror, she assured herself the scar was fully covered (though with a roll-neck, it could hardly be anything else) and she looked presentable once more, then briefly ran the hairdryer over her hair. At last, she was feeling confidant enough to face the world, and more importantly, Eddie.

Gliding down the stairs, she listened for any clue that would tell her where her new lodger was. Hearing the TV on and knowing she hadn't put it on, she summarised he was in her living room. She leant slightly into the doorway and confirmed the suspicion before grabbing her coat off the hook and pulling it on. The stirring of warmth that went through her at the sight of Eddie sprawled on her sofa, completely relaxed, scared her slightly and if she had not thought it would make her clinically insane, she would have told her body and emotions to behave because feelings like that were simply not appropriate.

"Alright Eddie, I'm going, see you in a while." She called, doing up a couple of buttons and yanking the tie close around her waist. She heard movement inside the room but didn't think anything of it until she picked up her keys from the table in the hall and turned to the door, only to find Eddie in front of her.

"D'you mind if I come with?" He asked gently, leaning on the doorframe as she had done. Rachel was tempted because she never enjoyed this necessary chore, and his company might make the trip pleasant, but if there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was being treated like a porcelain doll even all these weeks after what happened. She hated being pitied. If that was his reason for volunteering, then he would be better staying here. She'd only end up being angry with him, and he wouldn't understand why.

"I can manage Eddie." She replied, with a slight edge to her voice, adjusting the front of her coat and flicking him a look to assess his motives.

"I know. It just might take my mind off things." She could hardly refuse after he said that, so she nodded reluctantly and opened the door for them both, brushing off the twist of her stomach as worry rather than excitement. She heard him crunch over her gravel towards her car and tried not to smile at how natural this seemed.

She hadn't realised her hands were shaking slightly until she attempted locking her front door and had several goes before finally fitting the key into the lock, feeling more conscious of Eddie's eyes on her every second she delayed, which did not help her wavering fingers. Irritated with herself, she banished the flashes of pleasure and nerves with a concentrated thought before turning and going over to her car. Out of habit, she went to the driver's side door to find that was where Eddie was stood.

"Eddie, you need the other side." Rachel told him, pressing the relevant button on her control and hearing the answering click of the doors unlocking.

"Aw, come on Rachel, can't I drive?" Eddie moaned, standing so close to the car that Rach couldn't open the front car door without hitting him.

"Absolutely not. You're not insured to drive it, for one."

"And another?" Eddie enquired, still stood in front of the door and Rachel rolled her eyes, opening it anyway and bumping it into him gently.

"I always drive my own car." She replied simply, smiling and he shrugged in defeat, moving slightly away so she could open the car door further and step inside it, but not into the car itself. He didn't move any further away and as she stepped up to the side of her car, she realised it was only her door that put any space between them.

"That a control thing?" He queried with a light smirk and Rachel tipped her head a little to one side as she considered his words.

"Perhaps." She replied evasively, a smirk of her own lifting her mouth before she swung herself elegantly into her car and pulled the door shut behind her, though it didn't quite close in time to muffle the sound of his chuckle as he walked around and got into the passenger seat. She focussed on starting the car and pulling away from her drive while he clipped in his seat belt and checked his mobile. Who he was expecting to hear from, Rachel didn't know and didn't want to know.

"How's Michael?" She asked, to pre-empt any awkward silences falling again. As always, Eddie's face lit up at the question about his son and he began talking ten to the dozen.

"He's great, started nursery this year, going up to Year One next year, and he loves it. Keeps giving me drawings and paintings whenever I see him, I'm running out of space on my fridge." Rachel had a vision as he said it, of a child's collection of portraits stuck with colourful magnets at haphazard angles to a fridge, but what surprised her was not the paintings, but the fact she'd placed them on her own fridge. "I'm checking on his Maths and he's doing best in that of course, though I think Alison is sure I'm grilling him too much. He asks about you, he remembers you from that day Alison dumped him on me, and I, well, I talk about you quite a bit." Eddie admitted, flushing a little and ducking his head so he wouldn't have to meet the surprised flick of her eyes towards him from the road.

"Me? Why?" The question escaped her before her mind could contain it and she kept her eyes fixed ahead of her, hoping he would pass over the answer without any depth.

"Well, like I said, he asks about you and when he heard what happened last year, the fire and you being in hospital, he even wanted to go and visit you with me but I didn't know if you'd be up to it. Then, by the time I'd worked up the nerve to ask you, you discharged yourself." Eddie told her, a soft smile lifting his expression, which she took a moment to return. She knew he hadn't fully approved of her decision to leave the hospital a little earlier than the doctors had recommended but it had been the right thing for her.

"You should have brought him, you didn't have to ask, I would've loved to see him." Rachel replied, and she saw Eddie's expression light up even more, if it were possible, at her honesty. "I had far too little to do in that damn hospital without you turning away visitors." She joked, the memory of those weeks darkening the light in her eyes, though she managed to shoot her companion a smile to assure him she was kidding. The minute she found his eyes, she wished she hadn't looked, there was such a warmth and sympathy in his deep brown pools that she was hard pressed to drag her attention back to driving.

"I'm sorry Rachel. I would have come to visit you more but you didn't seem to enjoy me being there and I – I know it's awful but I hated seeing you like that. You were so unhappy." Eddie's voice had dropped considerably, as if she wasn't sure if he should be saying anything, but part of him Rachel suspected needed to say it and she was almost surprised he had not tried to have this conversation earlier. Maybe he would have done, if not for the ever-present question of Melissa.

"Yes, I was unhappy." She agreed, barely above a whisper, glad her hands were wrapped around the steering wheel as she felt shivers begin to pass through her again. "I hated how vulnerable I felt. But I was always, _always_, glad to see you Eddie." Her voice grew in strength as she gathered her courage and told him what he deserved to know. She didn't dare look over and he didn't say anything in return, and for a few seconds Rachel feared she'd been far too open, but then she felt a warm hand settle on her shoulder, a reassuring squeeze being given with it.

They drew up to a set of traffic lights and the brunette let one of her own hands raise a little shakily off the steering wheel to rest on his. The action both calmed and excited her, if that were possible, and she could feel his gaze laying heavily on her while she tried to find something to say. Then the lights began to change and she had to take her hand away. To her surprise, he left his on her shoulder until they were on a moving road. She was getting used to the comforting weight when he slowly lifted his fingers and brushed a few hairs behind her ear softly then retreated, probably unsure how she would react to such a personal and affectionate gesture.

Rachel could feel her heartbeat thumping in her chest and her head, felt a swell of emotion that was so much more than friendly gratitude, but for now, that was all she could show. She let her soft smile glide over her mouth in answer to his action and said quietly, with as much happiness as she dared feel.

"Thank you Eddie." She sensed rather than saw his returning smile but didn't give him chance to say anymore as they were pulling into the supermarket. After turning into a much-searched-for parking space at the supermarket, Rachel could feel the shivers receding, her control returning with it, and was thankful. Shooting her Deputy a quick smile, now she felt she could without giving too much away, she exited the car and grabbed her keys, slotting them into her back pocket after locking up.

"You got a pound for the trolley?" Eddie called over the car, as normal as ever, and she almost laughed in return.

"Nope. I've got a token." She replied, slipping the pound-shaped token off her key ring and holding it up for him as they reached each other's side. He glanced at it and grinned, taking it from her without a word and heading towards the line of linked trolleys waiting by the shop's entrance. Again, Rachel was swamped by an unavoidable feeling of familiarity, as if they had always been doing this. It was wonderfully comforting but dreadful as well, she shouldn't be letting him this close. Especially when Melissa was still connected to him, even if they weren't dating anymore, Rachel still shouldn't be feeling this way so soon.

But her and Eddie were good friends, or had been, and she realised she really wanted that back. She decided to try and keep this as normal as possible, and ignored the tingling in her fingertips from where his skin had touched hers in taking the token. She tugged at her coat to settle her mind and strode into the shop, with Eddie following just behind with a trolley. Knowing he would take her lead, she entered the first isle and began choosing apples.

"Braeburn?" Came Eddie's voice from behind her and she turned, a bag of apples hanging from one hand, an eyebrow arched in question.

"Yes, problem?" She queried, a light in her eyes that told him she was amused.

"I like 'Pink Ladies'." Eddie replied, pouting a little, pulling the trolley up next to her as he once more adopted a whine in his voice that would not have been out of place in a conversation with Michael. Rachel considered turning that remark back on him but decided it probably wasn't appropriate under the circumstances and settled for rolling her eyes, and adding three of his type of apples to the bag. The action was greeted by a grateful smile and she shook her head in mock-exasperation before placing the apples in the bottom of the trolley and moving on to clementines.

They continued in much the same way all around the shop, though it was surprising how similar their tastes were. For most of the meals, she was just adjusting to an extra portion, not changing anything. She also added the ingredients for his curry, after some prompting and a little actual prodding on his part. To her mind's dismay, but her heart's delight, she'd squirmed under his fingers and let out a laugh that sounded almost foreign because it had been so long since she'd least heard it. She was sure she looked surprised after she'd realised what she'd done. Eddie had looked pretty pleased with himself though.

All the while, that comforting familiarity she'd felt earlier lingered, the feeling that she could do this forever, that they had been doing this forever, warming her all the way though and easing away her defences. It was a difference that was unnoticeable to her, thankfully, as she would have done everything she could to reverse it, although Eddie couldn't help but see the change, and welcome it.

They'd reached the end of the supermarket and were heading towards a till when the sweets stand had caught Eddie's eye and he'd quite literally dragged Rachel over to have a look for something for Michael. It was a little bewildering, the range of different sugary stuff you could buy now. Rachel had never been particularly fond of sweets, but apparently Eddie had a sweet tooth, which was why there was a cheesecake nestled comfortably in the top of the trolley, for dessert when Eddie cooked, so he said, though Rachel had a sneaking suspicion that some would be missing by the end of tonight.

"Oh Rachel, what about a gobstopper?" Eddie asked, waving his hand vaguely at one shelf and Rachel was dragged out of her thoughts. She was a little off-kilter from the whole experience so her next words were not thought about before being spoken; if she hadn't been so relaxed, she would have realised how telling her words were.

"What's a gobstopper?"

"What?" Eddie spun to face her from the shelves he'd been admiring, clearly a little shocked and maybe a tiny bit amused. "Miss Mason, who is so in touch with the kids, doesn't know what a gobstopper is?" He teased, nudging her lightly with his arm before reaching past her and holding one up. Rachel quickly suppressed the flutter of excitement at his proximity.

"Well, I never did like – whoa. That's massive!" Rachel exclaimed, staring at the oversized sweet in Eddie's hand. She heard him chuckle again and she raised her eyes to his, amusement twisting both their expressions.

"That's the point. Gobstopper." He repeated, holding it out to her. She gingerly took hold of one edge of the packaging and held it out in front of her.

"I can think of a few people who could do with one of these." Rachel laughed, before dropping the confection in their trolley.

"I bet they're not all students either." Eddie muttered, moving next to her so he could speak into her ear and they both moved out of the isle into the clear space before they reached the tills. Rachel glanced up at the comment, ignoring the flutter of pleasure at his breath brushing her neck and face, and they both shared a laugh, knowing exactly who the other was thinking of.

"You read my mind Eddie." Rachel answered, a musical lilt from the laughter in her voice that she not only enjoyed but was sure Eddie was pleased with as well. Luckily, they found an empty till and began to unpack the heaped food onto the conveyer belt. Together, their efforts were flawless and halved the time it would have taken.

"Ah ha! Curry. Can't forget that." Eddie tapped the jar of sauce in a satisfied way and placed it ready on the till while Rachel could not resist having one more dig.

"You still have time to back out, Eddie. For the sake of the kitchen." She tried to apply a light pleading tone but could barely keep her face straight as he levelled his gaze with a challenged look in his eyes.

"I am cooking, end of." He mock-glowered and went back to unpacking while Rachel gave in to her smile and went past the checkout girl to begin packing up the food, sharing a look of exasperation with the young woman that was all sisterly camaraderie.

"It's always a blessing and a curse when they cook, isn't it? My husband always manages to burn something when he's in the kitchen but the rest tastes great." The woman commented idly, passing food across the barcode reader automatically, without thought. The implication of the words didn't hit Rachel until a couple of seconds later, after she'd already smile in agreement. When she did realise, she froze, completely unsure what to do. Before she could say anything, Eddie had interjecting, naturally enough,

"We're not married." Why was she suddenly flooded with disappointment?

"Well, you should be. Smashing couple like you, what have you got to loose? Sooner the better, I say; after all, life is only so short." The woman replied with barely a flicker of her expression, clearly not bothered by her mistake and Rachel tried to assume the same attitude, hoping Eddie had not seen her conflicting emotions just then. However, she could not keep back the flush at such an obvious leading remark and by the way Eddie was now focussed on the food still in the trolley, she would guess he felt the same way. The rest of the unloading and packing was done in silence, both Eddie and Rachel contemplating why this woman, who didn't know them, thought they would make a good couple. Neither willing to admit just yet they agreed with her.

"Right, that's £76.85 please." The silence was broken and both the other two went for their wallet and purse as they moved towards the card machine, nearly bumping into each other in the process, sending Rachel's pulse skyrocketing again.

"Rach, I can get this, most of that food is for me anyway." Eddie waved at the bagged-up groceries and slid out a card but Rachel shook her head and knocked him lightly out of the way with a teasing smile.

"Don't kid yourself. My appetite is just as good as yours. I'll get it." She gave him a stern look and slipped her card into the machine, turning her back on him with a satisfied nod. She caught the cashier sharing a look with Eddie as she entered her pin and turned her head in time to raise an eyebrow at him. He grinned and moved past her, skimming her back slightly because of the lack of space and sending shivers running all over her. She had to bite her lip a minute to hide the hitch in her breath.

"Any cash-back?" The young woman asked and Rachel shook her head, only just regaining enough breath to speak. The girl grinned knowingly at her as she tapped a few keys and then turned to grab the rapidly printing receipt, which she handed to Rachel once she'd torn it off and Rachel put it, along with her card, back in her purse. "Have a nice evening." The woman offered as Eddie began to push the trolley away and Rachel took a place at his side. The older woman knew there was a definitely intended double-entendre in those words but didn't bother to react, in the hopes Eddie hadn't noticed and the cashier would assume Rachel hadn't either.

Flashing a smile at the younger woman, they walked away and out into the car park. Together, as naturally as if they'd done it a thousand times before, they unloaded into the car and Eddie wheeled he trolley back while Rachel got in and got the engine going with barely a word spoken, but far too many easy smiles exchanged. Just as she was wondering whether to put the radio on, Eddie opened his door and got in, handing her the token at the same time. She smiled her thanks and reattached the token to her keys before pulling out and heading back to her house. With a quick glance at the car's clock, she realised that trip had taken twice as long as it usually did, but she found to her great surprise, she didn't care. She'd enjoyed it.

"So, what are we eating when we get home?" Eddie asked cheerfully, and Rachel smiled again, knowing the poor man had probably gotten his appetite back being around all that food and was now quite hungry. She also ignored his use of the word 'home' knowing she'd read too far into the implications.

"It's ravioli with the pasta sauce you chose tonight." Rachel answered, peering in both directions at a junction before moving smoothly onto the right road.

"Good, I really feel like pasta tonight." Eddie agreed contentedly, leaning back in his seat, tiredness overcoming him for a minute and Rachel could not shut off the guilt rising within her anymore, despite the warnings in her mind.

"Eddie, look, you can stay as long as you need to, alright? I don't mind." Rachel told him quietly, her eyes ahead of her though once again she could feel his on her.

"Thanks Rachel." Eddie replied, his words touchingly heart-felt and she knew she'd done the right thing. It wasn't right to let her insecurities go before doing the best thing for him. Rachel nodded, in reply to him and in confirmation of her thoughts, then let a comfortable silence fall for a little while, though she knew there were many things both of them wanted to say to fill it. Then Eddie began to speak again, "I'm sorry, I don't want to be in the way, but-"

"It's alright Eddie. Really." Rachel added, throwing him a smile as she drove on and he seemed satisfied with that. Her mind in a whirl of unanswered questions, she was pulling into her own drive far sooner than she expected. Trying to ignore the urge to reassure him further than was needed, she got out and went to unlock the front door before retrieving some groceries from the back of her car, brushing Eddie's shoulder as she did so. Now, even the flash of emotion from the touch was beginning to seem familiar.

They unloaded and Rachel packed it all away while Eddie watched, trying to memorise where everything went and which cupboards he would need tonight rather than the shape of Rachel's mouth, the shade of her eyes, the line of her jaw, the fall of her hair, as if he didn't already have most of that committed to memory already. Then she shooed him into the living room, telling him to lay the table while she started cooking, although she added he shouldn't get used to it. The remark made him grin in return, she noticed, before he left her along with a pan of hot water and their dinner ready to be cooked.

Finally, she had a moment to appreciate her situation. Though she felt incredibly guilty for admitting it, Mel had in fact done her a huge favour in sending Eddie around to her. They hadn't gotten along this well personally in weeks, possibly months, and it had done more for her healing process than she'd thought anything could. She'd actually been out and not worried about her scar or her surroundings at all the whole time. For the first time, she'd completely let go of her defences, her worries, all of it, she'd been practically back to normal. And she would not stop herself being glad over that. She would also not try and pretend it had less to do with her, and everything to do with Eddie. However, that was where her concern rose from.

Up until this morning, this man had been living with her sister, had been in what Rachel had considered to be a successful relationship with Mel, and yet both he and Melissa now believed he had been in love with Rachel the entire time. How could that be right? How could it be true? Moreover, was it right that he should be here, with her, helping her, and she enjoying the company, when by association, she had done a terrible thing to her sister? Sighing, she realised she had little choice in the matter.

She'd already told Eddie he could stay as long as he needed, and as long as he was here and acting as natural as this afternoon had been, Rachel knew she had no control over how she felt; she could regulate her reactions but not the underlying emotions. So despite her own guilt, there was nothing she could do. She would not shove Eddie away again, not now they'd reconnected, because she wouldn't be able to tell him why and he didn't deserve that; she would just have to be careful how close she let him get.

Rachel shook herself from her thoughts and started preparing their meal, conscious of the water now boiling. She'd been thinking for just a little too long. Quickly, she added the ravioli to the bubbling pan and then started heating the sauce, putting the slight tremble of her hands down to her being slightly cold, despite the kitchen being quite warm, refusing to acknowledge she was happy or excited. She could now hear Eddie open a drawer in the living room, looking for the cutlery and mats for the table no doubt and Rachel smiled lightly before calling through,

"They're in the tall cabinet drawer, on the left, tablecloth's underneath my briefcase on one of the chairs by the table." She heard a muffled 'thank you' through the wall and laughed a little, checking on the food and fetching plates, generally concentrating on details to keep her mind on more neutrals trains of thought. Only another minute or so, and the pasta would be done, so Rachel retrieved the salt and pepper from one of her cupboards, along with parmesan cheese in case Eddie fancied some.

She knew somehow he'd been there in a minute to get them and sure enough, the moment Rachel had turned back to stir the pasta and sauce, she heard him enter the kitchen though her back was to the door, and without a word, she pointed at the table, not turning around until she'd finished with the ravioli. Despite her delay, when she had expected him to react and move, he had remained by the doorway, an amused look on his face that did not quite cover the tender edge in his eyes.

"Now you're reading my mind." Eddie commented and for some reason, Rachel felt a flush begin creeping across her cheeks. It might have been down to the seeming hidden meaning in his words and she was glad he could not see her thoughts as her imagination ran a little into dangerous territory. Flicking her eyes away from him, and hopefully away from the images her mind had supplied of them in far too close quarters, Rachel hurriedly moved away to drain the pasta. "Can I help with anything?" Eddie's gentle voice slightly surprised her, he was closer than she had expected and she didn't think she'd imagined the brush of his breath again her hair and neck.

"Could you check the sauce is hot enough and if it is, take it off the hob." Rachel was pleased how normal her voice sounded, only the barest detectable trace of breathiness. With a confusing mix of relief and disappointment, she felt Eddie move away to do as she asked, though it was as if the prickling hairs on the back of her neck were telling her his gaze was very much resting on her. She tried to ignore that, lifting the colander out of her sink and tipping a portion onto each plate, another menial task saving her from dwelling too much on what was happening between them.

She was about to turn and ask for the sauce when the pan appeared next to her and she couldn't move for a minute as he leant across her and poured half on one pile of ravioli and half on the other. Smiling to cover her fluttering excitement, she took hold of both plates and picked them up, ready to carry them into the other room when his voice again made her pause.

"You want anything to drink?" Biting her lip briefly, Rachel considered and then nodded towards the fridge.

"There's a bottle of wine in there. Unless you're having beer?" Rachel smiled, as Eddie moved towards where she had indicated. He shook his head and opened the fridge, taking the bottle from the inside shelf and letting the door swing closed behind him and looking around for glasses. Shaking her head, Rachel moved out of the room and into her living room, setting down the warm plates on the mats before moving towards the cabinet he'd gotten the cutlery from earlier, which also happened to be where she kept her wine glasses.

Thankfully, Eddie had followed her and set down the bottle in the middle of the table before taking his own seat. Rachel grabbed two glasses and nudged the cupboard closed with her arm as she turned back and set one down in front of Eddie. He took the initiative and poured them both a good glass of the red liquid while Rachel, out of habit, leant back to other chair where her briefcase was usually left after she'd finished working, probably at some ungodly hour on a Saturday night. But it wasn't there.

"Wasn't my briefcase here?" She asked, eyes already darting around the room in search of her missing paperwork.

"Yeah, I put it by the sofa. What do you want it for?" Eddie asked, setting down Rachel's glass (now filled) and frowning a little up at the woman whose gaze was on her couch.

"Well, I thought we might as well get some work done-" She began, starting to move towards her briefcase before he abruptly cut her off.

"I am not doing paperwork now. I want to eat, I'm hungry!" His voice had sounded serious but the tone had lightened to a joking whine towards the end and Rachel relented, going back to the table and taking her seat.

"Sorry, I forgot men can't multitask." She grinning at Eddie as she slid her chair underneath her and his eyebrows shot up indignantly.

"And I forgot my boss was such a slave-driver." He shot back with a smug smirk and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Slave driver indeed. It's only by chance you get your work done at all these days." Rachel returned, laughing as she picked up her fork. Eddie huffed and did the same.

"Well, as long as I do get it done, we don't need to work while we're eating, do we?" He pointed out, spearing a piece of ravioli and drawing it up to his mouth as he raised a pointed eyebrow at his friend.

"Fair enough." Rachel conceded, taking a sip of her win to hide her smile at his exasperation. "I don't usually have anyone to talk to at dinner, so I work, it's a habit." She explained, beginning to dig into her own food with an appetite that she hadn't realised she possessed until just now. At any other time, she probably have been embarrassed telling anyone that, thinking it was a self-pitying reflection on her sad and lonely life but right now, she felt comfortable sharing that with him and trusting him to see it in the right way. And, of course, he did.

"Well, take advantage of the company while you can then, eh?" Eddie smiled and Rachel almost rolled her eyes again. She was about to make a light par back about the company not being much improved but the phone rang and she didn't get the chance. She groaned a little and set down her fork, pushing back her chair and leaving the room to grab the main line handset of the stand in the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Waterloo Road, it's affiliates or anything like that. I just like messing around with the characters.

**A/N:** I've been working on this on paper since… well, for a long time. Probably since the third or fourth episode of Series 4 and it's probably the longest piece I've ever written, but it was completely worth it. I've never felt so easy spending time in another character's head before, if that makes sense to anyone but me. I really enjoyed writing this one, and I hope you enjoy reading it. It's set a week or so after Mel asks Eddie to move in with her and Philip, I know, dark days we would all rather forget but I had to do it. I also opted for him moving in with them since it worked for this fic and we never did know either way. Whichever they did choose in the series, disregard any episodes after that event which I suppose makes this slightly AU now. And please, please do leave a comment, they make all the trouble I get into for spending my time ignoring my actual work worth it!

**Summary:** Can an accidental slip on Eddie's part finally realign the course of destiny we all know should have run so much smoother? Reddie.

**Mistaken Fortune**

Chapter Two

"_Well, take advantage of the company while you can then, eh?" Eddie smiled and Rachel almost rolled her eyes again. She was about to make a light par back about the company not being much improved but the phone rang and she didn't get the chance. She groaned a little and set down her fork, pushing back her chair and leaving the room to grab the main line handset of the stand in the hall._

"Hello?" Having no idea who would be calling right now, Rachel spoke unsurely into the device, and was greeted by the slightly slurred tones of her sister.

"Hi Rachel. Having a nice time?" If she'd thought her sister was angry before, it was nothing to the poison Melissa's voice now betrayed.

"Mel." Rachel sighed, leaning tiredly on the wall behind her and knowing she was going to regret answering this call.

"Well, are you? Enjoying seducing my boyfriend, are you?" The suggestion carried more truth in Rachel's mind than she could bare and she visibly sagged as the words cut into her.

"Melissa, nothing is happening. How much have you had to drink?" Rachel asked, trying to keep her voice low enough that Eddie wouldn't hear but so Mel would still have to acknowledge the commanding note in her voice.

"Not much. Don't lecture me, Rach."

"Where's Philip?"

"Round at a friend's house. What's he got to do with it?"

"I don't want him around there while you're like this."

"Oh, suddenly you're the one with all the moral principles?" That stung; it wasn't as though Rachel had asked for this to happen; quite the opposite, and she certainly hadn't wished for it, no matter how tempting it had been.

"Mel, you're drunk."

"And you're a cow. Why did you have to take Eddie? Why are you always so jealous of what I have? Why can't you just be happy for me?"

"I was happy for you. I didn't ask for this to happen, Mel." Rachel tried to defend herself against one of the few people who could actually hurt her, but she had to hope her sister was disorientated enough not to notice she had purposefully avoided answering Mel's second question.

"No, but it still did happen, didn't it? Why? Why did it have to be you, Rach? I wouldn't be nearly so pissed if it was anyone but you. He should love me! I did everything right, I was half-way to falling in love with him too, why would he throw all that away?" Rachel chanced a look to the living room and decided this was most definitely a moment she did not want Eddie sneaking up on her so she took to the stairs and sought shelter in her bedroom as she flicked through Melissa's words. It was only when she closed her bedroom door she finally realised something.

"You mean you weren't in love with him?" Rachel questioned, starting to pace around the room, a confused feeling swelling inside her.

"I nearly was. If you hadn't gotten in the way." Mel snarled into her ear and Rachel felt the accusation bite into her even as her mind reminded her this mess had not, for once, been of her making.

"I didn't do anything." The older sister protested, wishing she could make her sister believe her. She didn't want to loose her, not again and not over this.

"Sure you didn't. He just fell in love with you by accident, did he?" Rachel, for a moment, didn't know how to reply. She couldn't explain Eddie's feelings, heaven knew she'd tried, and it shouldn't fall at her door to have to try.

"I don't know Mel." Her voice was low, lost almost, and Rachel hoped the vulnerability would ease her sister's temper but all it seemed to do was increase it.

"No, of course you don't. It's never your fault, is it Rach? It was Mum and Dad's fault you flunked out of Uni, their fault you became a whore, my fault Michael left you because I was honest with him and you weren't, I suppose you think it's my fault Eddie chose me to begin with, as well!" Melissa's voice kept rising with each new verbal assault of her sister, until she was screeching down the phone and Rachel was on the verge of tears.

"Melissa, stop. I know it's not your fault." Her voice was shaking audibly, she wanted so much to put the phone down but concern for her sister won out over the impulse.

"Next you're going to tell me it'll all look better in the morning and that I should just let it go!" Mel's voice was shrill with sarcasm and anger, and Rachel felt the first few tears spill over, gliding down her cheeks fruitlessly, not having any effect at all.

"Mel, I'm coming over to you, we need to talk, ok?" Rachel tried determinedly, already moving towards the door when her sister's answering shout assaulted her eardrums.

"Don't you dare, Rachel! I won't let you in! The last thing I need right now is you here. You're probably right, it might not hurt so much in the morning but at the moment, I can't stand the sight of you!"

"Melissa-" It was too late, the line had already gone dead. Taking the phone away from her ear, Rachel gazed uselessly at the handset, the mocking dial tone still audible until her own, gasping breaths drowned it out and she slid to the floor, sobs finally overcoming her control as the tears streamed down her face. She'd forgotten everything except the stinging accusations and hurt anger of her sister, and her crying crescendo-ed as she curled up by the end of her bed.

Then there was a knock at her door and suddenly she remembered Eddie, who had no doubt heard her. Trying to catch her breath and wipe away the lines of moisture on her cheeks, she struggled to her feet and nearly stumbled as she moved to the door, and opened it.

"Rachel, are you-" Before he'd even finished the sentence, she knew he would know the answer – she was not ok. He was carrying her no doubt cold plate of pasta and her wine glass, which she took from him and turned inside the room to place on top of her chest of drawers. As she did this, she noticed her plate was unusually warm, and her wine glass unusually cold, but paid it little thought. She heard him follow and she wished he hadn't, couldn't bring herself to look at him while she was in such a state.

"I kept your plate warm on the hob in case you wanted it." He told her casually, keeping a cautious distance between them as she tried to swallow the remaining lump in her throat and she nodded her head, looking down at the carpet, wishing the whole situation were different. "Melissa?" He asked gently, and she nodded again, a fresh wave of tears welling up in her eyes but she forced them back. "What did she say?" He prompted, stepping slightly closer.

"Nothing I didn't deserve." Rachel rasped, her voice betraying her as it caught slightly. He sighed and she managed to flick her eyes up to his to see why; the compassion in his eyes was practically glowing and she wished he wasn't such an amazing man.

"She was just lashing out. She can't blame you for any of this." Once he'd seen her eyes, he wouldn't let them break away, holding her watery gaze as he tried to reassure her.

"She can, and she does. Why shouldn't she?" Rachel questioned, flicking her arms up a little as if genuinely wanting to know.

"Because it's not your fault. It's mine." Eddie told her, moving closer again and Rachel felt the tears threaten again.

"Melissa doesn't see it that way." She managed to force from her constricted throat and Eddie gave her another sympathetic look that at any other time she would have despised but just now, she seemed to need.

"She will. You can't blame yourself for this, Rachel." He insisted and the compassion was too much for the woman's control, she had to let a small sob through before it choked her. In less than a second, he had moved forward and wrapped his arms around her, laying his head on top of hers and smoothed a hand down her back. She buried her face in his chest for a moment, needing the comfort he offered so effortlessly yet so meaningfully, but couldn't accept it for long. Soon she was pushing him back, shaking her head and her voice was now not only shaking, but pleading.

"Please don't be nice to me Eddie."

"But I hate seeing you cry, Rach, I can't bare it." He answered earnestly, an edge in his voice that she could feel tugging at her resolve.

"You shouldn't. I'm not – I don't deserve-"

"Of all the people I know, Rachel, you deserve someone to care about you, someone to lean on, someone to care for you." Eddie told her, his voice soft, edging towards her again and Rachel couldn't find the strength to push him away a second time as he embraced her again, pressing a light kiss to her hair as she laid her cheek against his shirt. They remained like that for a few minutes, his hand once more gliding along her spine and her fingers curling into the material above his chest. The assured feel of that hold was wonderful and dried her tears more effectively than anything Rachel had ever experienced. Eventually, they had to move apart, though Rachel knew the reluctance to withdraw was not just in her lingering fingertips.

"Thank you Eddie. I think I'll eat and then go to bed, if that's alright." Rachel said quietly, eyes darting to his face, which nodded and began to move away towards the slightly open door, not at all offended by her wanting to be alone. She went over to the plate and wine glass and was about to pick them up and take them over to the bed when his voice broke the silence again.

"Rach?" He ventured, and she looked around, a faint smile greeting him as he paused before leaving her room. "No more thinking tonight, ok?" He half-smiled and she felt her eyes brighten as his flawless understanding of her once again showed itself.

"Ok." She replied softly, and he stepped out of the room with a nod, closing the door behind him. Breathing deeply, Rachel felt the scent of the pasta tickle her nose and a little of her appetite returned. 'You're truly wonderful, Eddie' She said in her mind with an affection she could never have voiced out loud before taking the plate and wine over to her bed.

.~*~. .~*~. .~*~. .~*~.

The next morning…

Rachel flicked on the coffee machine, blinking still a little slower than usual despite being dressed and visibly ready for the day. She had thought her sleep would be restless last night, what with Eddie only being down the corridor and the phone call from Mel on constant repeat inside her mind, but once she'd finished what she could eat of her dinner, she'd been dragged down almost immediately by dreams. Well, half had been dreams. The other half, she shivered thinking it, had most definitely been nightmares. She'd been quite glad to awake when the alarm sounded this morning.

She hadn't heard her Deputy stir yet and she would have to wake him if she didn't get any signs of him surfacing soon. Then she heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and turned to see the man himself enter her kitchen, also dressed but also seemingly as sleepy as she was.

"Morning." He greeted her, voice slightly croaky and she smiled in return.

"Good morning. Sleep well?" She asked, as she slotted two sliced of bread into the toaster and lowered them into the machine. She received a grunt in reply and had to squash another smile at his lack of morning awareness. She heard him practically fall onto the stool by her kitchen counter and got out another mug from the cupboard above her, knowing he would need it. After a few seconds, the coffee 'ping'-ed and she quickly poured him a black one before shoving it across the surface towards him, which he accepted gratefully.

She had poured herself one and was about to take a long sip when the toaster also shot up and she gingerly took the slices out and dropped them onto a plate. Leaving Eddie to his coffee for a minute, she got the jam and butter from the fridge along with the milk. They'd bought muesli for his breakfast yesterday, so she knew that was what he'd he having, and got that out of it's cupboard as well. Surprisingly, the quiet that surrounded them just then did not feel awkward at all, it was the silence of two people who didn't need to make idle conversation and Rachel was glad of that. She wasn't sure either of them had the mental capacity to think of a neutral enough topic to make conversation this early in a morning.

Smiling at how similar and different they both were, she placed the box of cereal along with a bowl and milk in front of Eddie and set to on her toast, lathering it with jam and holding the plate underneath her as she took a bite. Then she heard a spluttering behind her and turned to see Eddie regarding his coffee with suspicion before turning his eyes to hers.

"Sugar?" His request made her laugh and she remembered his sweet tooth, fetching the bowl from another surface and handing it to him. After he'd added the sugar and taken a few deep drafts of his newly sweetened drink, he seemed to wake up a bit and his eyes swept over her, taking in the thick layer of jam on her toast with an amused smile. "I thought I was the one with a sweet tooth?" He grinned and Rachel shrugged, another teasing smile playing around her mouth as she took another bite. Eddie let his eyes linger on her a little longer than necessary before turning his attention to his own breakfast. She let the comment pass, and finished eating before rinsing her plate and leaving it by the sink.

"Eddie, I was thinking," Rachel spoke, facing him and walking over to lean on the counter on the opposite side of him, "since we're both going to the same place, there's no point going in separate cars, it's only wasting fuel, so why don't I give you a lift?" She offered, her expression not revealing her nerves at the question. She didn't want to consider the implications of such a decision to anyone who worked it out but it was the practical thing to do.

"Or I could give you a lift." He returned, and she almost smirked as she remembered his possibly bruised ego from yesterday at not getting to drive. But her car was more noticeable and people would wonder why hers wasn't there while she was; Eddie's was less eye-catching and less likely to be missed. She didn't want or need to give the gossips any more fuel for the fire.

"I drive or we both do." Rachel replied, and hoped he understood or even just accepted her answer. He frowned, displeased, before dumping some milk in his bowl a little sulkily.

"Fine." He assented grudgingly, and she tapped the counter lightly in triumph before heading out of the room, calling over her shoulder,

"We'll leave in about half an hour." She paused at the bottom of the stairs, imagining him checking his watch or her microwave clock before the protest she knew was coming reached her.

"But school's only a quarter of an hour away! We'd get there at quarter to eight!"

"Your point?" She called back with a smirk, ascending the stairs and she caught a loud mutter that she suspected as him regretting accepting her offer, before she reached the landing and headed into her bedroom, smirk still in place. Twenty minutes later, Rachel was back down in her living room, checking she had all the files she'd brought from her office for the weekend, before leaving her briefcase by the front door and flashing impatient looks upstairs. It got to nearly half-past and Rachel sighed, before calling up,

"Are you ready yet?" A few seconds later, the door to her guest bedroom opened and Eddie emerged, muttering mutinously again as he shifted the worn briefcase he carried from one hand to another and thumped in a teenage style down her stairs. Since Rachel was taking her coat from the hook, she didn't actually look at him until he was stood before her and when she did look around, she nearly doubled over laughing. Much to Eddie's confusion and slight outrage.

"What?" He questioned, taking his coat down as well and slinging it around his shoulders. Rachel straightened herself with a little difficulty and pointed vaguely at his head.

"You've got a…" She dissolved back into laughter again for a few seconds before he glared at her slightly and she sobered up a bit. "Sorry, it's just, you've got a bit of hair sticking up at the oddest angle." She explained and without thinking, she reached up and flattened the horn-looking lock of hair. She knew as soon as she touched him that it was a mistake, the soft yet slightly coarse feel of his hair only feeding fuel to the fire her imagination and dreams had induced.

Biting her lip, she pulled away and tried to make sure she seemed unaffected. The gesture had also meant she'd leant up on her tiptoes so she was nearer his height and she could not help thinking they were just the right level for him to lean forward… Shaking that thought away, she picked up her briefcase and pulled open the already unlocked door, stepping out into the chilly morning air, a temperature she was grateful for, as it awakened her sense once more.

"So explain to me why we're leaving at this ungodly hour." Eddie half-teased, going over to her car and she quickly followed, putting her paperwork in the backseat's foot-well and sensing Eddie do the same on his side before she actually got inside.

"Because Headteachers have a lot of work to do and I never seem to get enough done during the school day." Rachel replied, swinging herself into the car, though she caught the joking roll of his eyes at her words, as he did the same.

"Alright, fair enough. I'm just glad it's you that has to deal with all that paperwork." He replied and she laughed.

"Only because you'd get buried by it." She returned, starting the car and flicking her head back so she could see to reverse. She thought she'd missed Eddie's answering chuckle but when they were out on the road, she realised he hadn't realised he hadn't given one and paused, temporarily drawing the car onto a verge and looking around at him. It appeared he had been waiting for her to do just that.

"Rach, I think you pissed my point. I'm glad it's _you_ and only you who's doing our paperwork. I'd hate going into that office and seeing anyone but you behind that desk." She was beginning to loose count, but that was possibly the fourth time his words had made her breath catch in the last few days. She felt an uncontrollable swell of warmth at the truth he expressed so obviously, and she reached out without thinking to squeeze his hand in thanks, words she couldn't verbalise shining in her eyes.

He nodded, encircling her one hand with both of his, his fingertips tracing little patterns over the back of her palm. She could barely breath through the contact, sending bolts of electricity through her entire body. Her eyelids flickered closed and she let out a pleasured breath without hearing it. Drawing on an inner reserve of control she'd only just found, she lifted her other hand and laid it on top of his, stopping his movement and slowly turning her face towards him, dragging her eyes open.

"We're going to be late." She managed to murmur, her gaze drawn to him.

"No we're not." He smiled and she remembered how this conversation had begun in the first place. Allowing her regret to be shown in her face, she slowly extracted her hand from his and gave him one last squeeze before turning back to the steering wheel and pulling off the kerb she'd paused on and out onto the road.

Rachel didn't know what to say, or whether she should speak at all, so she remained silent, driving automatically, more conscious than she'd admit to Eddie only being a few inches away and that several times in that drive to school he opened his mouth to speak but never actually made any sound. The atmosphere of heady anticipation and slight anti-climax did not dissipate as she'd hoped but hung in the air between them, making her pulse thump a little loudly.

It wasn't that long until they were turning into Waterloo Road, and up to the front of the school where Rachel usually parked. Glad to finally be able to breath properly again, the woman exited without a word and grabbed her bag from the back seat. Then, feeling slightly guilty for the awkwardness her hurry had spoken of, she waited while Eddie the same and then locked her car, joining him as they both walked up the steps and entered the school together, her arm brushing his side as he open the door for her and his hand accidentally catching her elbow as they walked down the corridor. As they reached the main stairs, Rachel paused, knowing Eddie was probably heading for his office, which was further down the corridor and hers was up these stairs.

"I'm going to make a start on that mountain of paperwork. I'll see you for briefing at twenty past? I've got a couple of things I need to run by you before we face the masses." She joked, trying to eliminate the heavy feeling between them and was rewarded with an answering smile before she started up the stairs. Just as she was turning up onto the second flight, she heard him make a step up onto the first stair and she heard a whisper escape him, the beginning of her name she guessed, but pretended she hadn't heard and quickened her pace up the steps slightly, suddenly scared of what he might try and say.

She didn't listen to see if he followed her, was merely intent on gaining the security of her office and once she'd shut the second door behind her, she finally let go of her breathing, which was gasping slightly. Sternly telling herself to get a grip, she slipped behind her desk and sat down in her office chair, glad of the comfort it offered. She did love this chair, which was odd as she had not been the one to choose it. Eddie had. Oh, and look where her thoughts had ended up, _again_.

Yesterday had been wonderful, easy and enjoyable until Melissa had rung, but Rachel could not afford to let that continue in school. She wondered if she would need to explain that to Eddie before dismissing the idea as too awkward and too complicated. It was all very well letting her defences down around someone she considered a close friend at home, where there was no one else to see them, but in school it was an entirely different matter. She would be friendly and normal with him, but nothing beyond that; she didn't think Eddie would expect any more, knowing her as he did, or rather she hoped he wouldn't. Today was going to be difficult enough without worrying about Eddie as well.

The peaceful time before staff briefing passed a little too quickly for Rachel's liking and soon she was collecting various notices she'd been given at the end of last week to read out in front of her colleagues, and of course preparing for her chat with Eddie before they headed down to the staff-room. Checking her calendar briefly, to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, she tucked her file into the crook of her arm and ran a hand over her hair, a movement she had picked up this year from somewhere, meaning she was either agitated or settling herself. Joyce would arrive while she was in the meeting, so any messages would have to wait until she returned. Just then, she heard the outer door to her office open and went to her door to greet Eddie with a smile.

"Did you get everything done you needed to?" He asked, following her into the office. She nodded, almost laughing.

"Yes, thank you. Did you?" She answered, leaning on her desk.

"I got some stuff marked. Hardly a lot. Not worth leaving when we did just to do that." He was baiting her, she knew it by the dancing amusement in his eyes, and she didn't let herself rise on the defensive. She also didn't consider the possible reasons he hadn't been concentrating on the marking, knowing it would not help her composure at all.

"Well then, Mr Lawson, perhaps you need to focus yourself more effectively." She replied primly, folding her arms around the file she was holding. He huffed and muttered something about being misunderstood and under appreciated, and Rachel couldn't help letting out a little laugh before rolling her eyes.

"So, Miss Mason, what do we need to discuss?" He asked, and just as she had hoped, the professionalism that they both exuded at school, in different ways, slid into place and they began to talk over various points that had to be shared with the staff. Conscious of the time, Rachel made the move out of her office and led him out and down the corridor, towards the Staffroom, every inch the 'dynamic duo' that they'd always been and with a surge of gladness, Rachel caught sight of them walking side-by-side in a window and saw the people they'd been last year, confidant, in control, assured, happy. It was a wonderful glimpse of not only her past but also a possible future, one she'd almost given up hope on.

.~*~. .~*~. .~*~. .~*~.

Her mind preoccupied with a budget meeting she knew was scheduled for later today, Rachel navigated the corridor back to her office without much conscious effort, half-registering the few students starting to drift along past her, and smiling at one girl she recognised. Then she slipped into her office's anti-chamber. She did make the effort to smile at Joyce, a little distractedly perhaps, as she passed through to her door, but was called out of her thought by her secretary's voice.

"Rachel?" She paused and turned, thinking 'please don't let it be serious' as she did, though, as she surveyed the tense expression on Joyce's face, she knew it was. "Melissa, or rather her son rang while you were in briefing, she's going to miss first period. He was a little vague on the reason, said you'd understand?" The happy curve of Rachel's lips suddenly dropped away, leaving a tight, worried expression behind in it's place. Yes, Rachel could well imagine Mel wasn't enjoying today at all, but at least she was going to make it in. Sighing, knowing there was nothing she could do, she nodded and continued into her office, shutting the door behind her.

Her first thought was of Philip. She wished there was something she could do for that boy, he was a good lad and didn't deserve the trouble that Melissa always seemed to bring with her wherever she went. No child should see their parent in the state Mel had been in last night and would be in this morning. The other way around was just about acceptable; but then, her sister had never been what you could call conventional. Melissa would be keeping a hopefully low profile today, so it would be quite easy to just avoid her and side step the guilt over how wonderful yesterday had been. But that wasn't who Rachel was – she had to check in on her sister. It didn't mean she had to look forward to it.

.~*~. .~*~. .~*~. .~*~.

Having been watching the clock all morning, Rachel bit her lip slightly as the bell rang, signalling the end of first period. In her hand, she rolled the pen she'd been using nervously within her fingers, debating in her mind whether she should go and see Mel now or wait for break. Either way, the prospect she faced was not a pleasant one and she was seriously tempted to put off the inevitable talk until break. Conscious of time passing, Rachel sighed and put her pen down, knowing her morals would never let her sit in here for another hour without checking on her little sister. Reluctantly pushing herself up from her chair, she left the safety of her office with a quick word to Joyce that she would only be a few minutes.

Wondering whether Mel would already be in her classroom, unknowing of whether she'd actually got to school yet, Rachel decided to head down to the main doors and check with Dave before going to check the Extended Services department. Descending the stairs by her office door, she tried to not look as worried as she felt. She knew her sister could really go off at the deep end if pushed too far, and Rachel didn't know how far this problem had pushed her.

Trying to shove away her guilt and worry, Rachel alighted from the bottom of the stairs and looked towards the main entrance, hoping Melissa would be there but she wasn't, only Dave and the other guard on duty. She was about to ask them whether Mel had been through when she heard a young voice she recognised call out to her from down the opposite corridor.

"Rachel!" It was Philip and Rachel immediately felt sympathy swell inside her at the rumpled look to his clothes and the worried expression she knew he'd inherited from her side of the family. She turned instantly and gave the lad her full attention, knowing he deserved that much and likely a lot more. She'd not considered until now the consequences of Eddie's words on her nephew, and she felt the guilt begin to multiply from deep in her stomach until it was nearly choking her.

"Philip. Are you ok?" She asked, waiting for him to come closer then laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. He nodded, his eyes darting from her to the floor and back again, obviously worried about something.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Did you get the message about Mum?" Rachel didn't know how to show her concern for him, and didn't know if he would want it, so asked about Melissa instead.

"Yes, I did. Do you know if she's in yet?"

"I think so." He answered, nodding a little, still not meeting her eyes.

"Philip, I'm sorry about what happened with Eddie and your Mum. And I'm sorry you had to deal with Mel in such a mess."

"Not like it's the first time." He muttered, his hands knocking against each other nervously.

"I know. And if you ever want to get away from all of that, you know you can always stay with me for a little while, right? I'm sure your Mum won't mind." Rachel offered, knowing that was all she could do and still feeling it wasn't enough. Her nephew nodded, smiling a little up at his aunt before moving away back down the corridor. Her eyes followed him, her heart aching as it always did when she saw a young person that was almost beyond her help. Now more convinced than ever that she had to find Melissa, she turned away and headed towards her sister's office, hoping she was there and hoping she was in a mood to listen.

Striding down the corridor, she listened to the snap of her heels along the hard floor and briefly glanced in the classrooms to the side of her, watching classes and teachers working together, letting the knowledge that in some cases, life was still very much the same, comfort her. Just as she was dragging her attention from one of history lessons, she caught sight of Eddie heading down the corridor towards her. He didn't look happy. Then Rachel remembered he had a free period this lesson, which jarred even more with the heavy sound of his step. He was angry about something.

"Eddie?" She called out, continuing towards him and a frown overcoming her previously less troubled expression. He didn't answer, just kept marching towards her and she paused, waiting for him to reach her. When he was a few steps away, he darted to her left and opened a door, which let them into an empty classroom. She frowned a little more heavily, wanting an explanation before she went inside, as he obviously wanted her to. Still, Eddie remained stubbornly silent, and she shook her head before sliding into the room, hearing him follow her and shut the door behind him. "Care to explain what that was about?" She asked, turning to face him with an exasperated expression.

"I've just seen Melissa." He said, sticking his hands in his pockets and throwing his eyes into hers. Rachel suddenly understood and looked away, leaning on a desk so Eddie was to the side of her and she didn't have to look at him straight on. That was the plan anyway. "Why did you tell me how bad she'd got last night?" He questioned, moving forward, away from the door but not encroaching on her personal space just yet.

"I didn't want anyone to see her like that. I thought she'd try and keep away from everyone as much as possible today. And I didn't know she wasn't going to be in until after briefing, so I couldn't have told you." Rachel replied, looking down at the carpet. He exhaled sharply through his nose and scrubbed his heel along the carpet, in what she could only assume was an outlet of irritation. "Is that why you're angry?" She asked, finally turning her head to see his answer. He sighed and shook his head.

"No." She waited, knowing he would tell her. "Mel told me that – you knew, she told you what I said. I was angry with her, because we'd made an agreement that she'd tell you as soon as she could. I thought she'd backed out of telling you, but it wasn't her, was it? Why didn't you say something, Rachel?" His voice was torn between exasperation and yearning, and she stood up abruptly, walking away from him to look out of an uninteresting window.

"Why did Mel have to tell me?" She avoided his question because she knew he would not like the answer, folding her arms and trying to gather that professionalism she so depended on.

"Because she thought it'd make things easier for you. She thought if she told you, there was more of a chance you'd feel less guilty. I guess she was wrong." Rachel couldn't answer that, didn't know what either of them could say that would make any of this better. "Rachel, I'm sorry. I've made a complete mess of this." She heard him sigh again, then move toward her across the room, she could just see his reflection in the window getting steadily closer and she felt her breath hitch again as she recognised the intent in his bearing. He was going to make her talk about this, make her acknowledge the feeling swimming between them, and she knew she still wasn't ready.

Carefully, she gauged the distance between Eddie and the door, waiting until she knew she could get past him, and just as he reached out his arms to, she suspected, take hold of her waist to stop her doing what she was about to do, she stepped to the side and strode as quickly as she was able past him, to the door which she wrenched open and fled through. He could not force her to talk if she didn't want to and though running away was not exactly a mature reaction, it was the only one she was capable of following through.

The staccato beat of her heels on the floor was matching perfectly with her pounding heartbeat as she got away from that empty classroom as quickly as she possibly could. She didn't care which corridors she chose to take, didn't think of a path she wanted to follow, just walked. It was bad luck she chose to stride right past Melissa's office, and even worse luck that her sister happened to be in her office and apparently waiting for her because the minute she saw her elder sister, she hurried out of her office and grabbed her arm.

"Rach." The Headmistress had been so absorbed by the thought of getting away, she had not thought what would happen if she got caught again. Now, her little sister's hand was clinging to her and she could not make herself pull away from the woman she'd guided into adulthood, not when she looked so desperate and so obviously unhappy. "Rach, can I talk to you?" The voice pleaded, and reluctantly, the elder sister nodded, allowing herself to be pulled into Melissa's office and have the door shut behind her.

"First of all, I am really sorry about last night. I really am. I know what I said isn't true, I was just angry and needed someone to take the blame. You were the wrong person for that, and I'm sorry." Rachel shook her head, about to tell Mel that the apology wasn't needed and she had been right to say those things, but Melissa continued before she could speak. "Also, I'm sorry but I think I've really dropped you in it with Eddie. I didn't know you hadn't told him you knew, if I had, I wouldn't have said anything. And I don't know whether you've seen him yet but he knows you know, so… I guess, it's up to you what happens now."

Instinctively, Rachel drew in a long breath, with the feeling someone ought to after that length of speech. Then she felt Mel take both her hands and darted her eyes up to her sisters, wondering what she expected. The brown eyes that were common to both of them stared back at her, a little bloodshot from the hangover and yet still somehow so much younger than Rachel's, full of faith and love that Rachel felt guilty just looking at. How could Mel help but despise her? She was responsible for breaking up her relationship with Eddie, why was Melissa not shouting at her still? The questions rose in her own expression and clearly, Mel saw them because she shook her head and gave Rach a hug.

"Rachel, this was not your fault. And I'm sorry I said it was. It's not anybody's fault, not really. You can't help who you fall in love with, I know that, Eddie knows that. And he really does love you, Rach, very much and I know you care for him. And you must promise me not to let my mess get in the way of what can happen between you two." At those words, Rachel froze and Mel immediately pulled back and placed her hands on her sister's shoulders so she could look her in the eyes.

"Mel, I can't…" Rachel whispered, and Mel shook her head.

"Rach, he loves you. No matter what you think is stopping you, I'm telling you, it's not enough to keep him away." Mel tried to reassure her, but Rachel could not listen to anymore of this. She took her sister's hands from her shoulders and lowered her gaze to regard their hands, knowing she could not betray the little girl she loved so much just for the sake of the man she might love.

"Mel, you're my sister. I can't do that to you."

"Even though I did? Rach, you'd have to be blind not to see he had feelings for you but I still had to try. I didn't think you felt the same until a few days ago. Now, I know it's impossible for him to feel like that for anyone but you and you feel the same." Rachel frowned, not knowing how to take that news. "Oh Rachel, if you need it, I even give you _permission_ to be with him, although you don't need it and it's completely wrong that I have to say it." The words sounded and probably tasted bitter and Rachel hated herself for making her sister feel she had to say them.

"Melissa," she tried to voice her thoughts but Mel cut across her,

"Do you love him?" The question carried so much importance and a definite need to be answered, but Rachel found herself choked. How could she answer that? Did she even know the answer? Her mind turned inwards, looking for a conclusion, searching her memories and feelings for the one word that would put the entire matter to bed. And her heart gave her one. Yes. She did love him. So much so it scared her. It must have shown in her face because Melissa's reaction was accepting, strengthening, as she squeezed her sister's hands and gave her another hug. "There, now you know. All you have to do now is tell him."

Before the elder sister could even begin to disagree, Melissa had turned Rachel around and guided her out of the office, patting her on the arm and sending her off a random direction, trusting that Rach would find Eddie eventually. They were never far away from each other in this place. Bewildered, the Headmistress took a moment to register her surroundings, not about to make the same mistake and end up in an end of the school she wanted to avoid. Assured of her position, she planned a route that would take her as far from Eddie's classroom and office as possible before letting her feet move again, setting off for her office.

It was all very well for Melissa to assume that telling Eddie how she felt was the only problem to overcome here. But it was not nearly that simple. Rachel had spent her entire life perfecting barriers, mechanisms of keeping people away from her soul; admittedly, she'd not done this particularly well with Eddie, not with her usual standard of success anyway, but the protections were there for a reason. Rachel knew she was a complex personality, had some pretty major trust issues, and now on top of all that, she was scarred as well. She could feel the marred skin underneath her formal shirt, the sensation of the material still odd to her perception.

How could she force those kinds of complications onto a man she cared for so much? Her mind could not comprehend how Eddie could be happy if they became involved. He had been happy with Mel, much as it hurt to admit it, because they were both relatively simple people; they didn't see consequences when they took action, they just saw immediate benefits while Rachel, on the other hand, was still spinning through various outcomes. How could Rachel ask him to give up the chance of finding something similarly enjoyable with someone else? It was too unfair. They could not possibly be as happy as Eddie and Mel had been.

And yet, there was a sneaky voice in the back of her mind that challenged her. Would Eddie let her push him away, now that they both knew how they felt? She could not ignore the possibility that Mel had shared her view on Rachel's feelings with Eddie, and knowing how trusting he is, he would have believed her. She knew Eddie, she knew he would fight for what he thought would be a good thing. He would push and push, just as he had tried to do earlier, until he found a way around her.

She would just have to find a way to convince him of her standpoint.

Finding herself in a quiet corridor, she paused, looking around, and then ducked into a deserted classroom, knowing it would probably be the only time to herself she would be able to scrape for the rest of the day. If Eddie was looking for her, the first place he'd check would be her office, so for as long as she could avoid the confrontation, the longer she had to prepare, the more chance she had of succeeding. It would not be easy; she knew that. He never conceded a point if he could help it, he was as stubborn as her in that regard. But she had to stay strong, she had to.

Then again, the treacherous voice broke in, you're forgetting yesterday. Remember? Those wonderful few hours you spent with him, the incredible feeling of having no barriers, just for a few hours? You can't pretend you didn't enjoy yesterday, most of it, and you can't fool yourself into thinking Eddie didn't either – you know he did. Why would it be wrong to explore that? To see whether you're in a place where and when you can let someone in? Rachel shook her head, trying to get rid of that voice, knowing it was dangerous to listen any longer.

"Rachel?" Her whole body tensed, every muscle taught and waiting for a reaction, a movement, anything. Her surprise was quickly overcome by a massive desire to be anywhere but here. She also cursed herself briefly for remaining in one place too long. The voice seemed to shock and calm her, as always the effect he had on her a mess of contradictions. Eddie. Letting out a slow breath, she twisted a couple of fingers together and turned around, her eyes unavoidably drawn to his figure stood so hesitatingly in the only exit.

"What, Eddie?" Rachel asked, unable to find enough composure to be more polite.

"We need to talk." He said, reacting to the snap in her words, his own frustration flaring a little as he moved further into the room and closed the door he'd entered by.

"I need to get back to my office. We can talk later." Rachel dismissed his words, moving forwards and hoping she would be able to go around him and out of the door before getting trapped by him and her feelings.

"No. We're going to talk now." He replied firmly, moving in front of the door and making it very clear she was not getting out that way.

"Please, Eddie. I need to get back."

"Rachel, I know this must be scaring you, I know what I said is not something that usually starts a relationship but please, you have got to listen. I love you, alright? I love you, Rachel Mason. I have done for virtually the whole time I've known you."

"Eddie, I'm sorry but-"

"If you're going to tell me you don't feel the same, don't bother. I know you well enough by now to know it'd be a lie. We have something, look at yesterday, look at earlier in the car, I could barely keep myself from telling you how I felt. And I know you felt at least part of that." His voice was increasingly desperate as he moved towards her, practically begging her to listen, to understand, to accept. But for every step he took, she took another back, navigating with flicks of her head so she didn't hit any of the tables, trying to keep a manageable distance between them.

"Eddie, we – we would never work. We just wouldn't. You'd get very fed up me very quickly. I – I can't not keep people at arm's length." Rachel tried to explain, but her Deputy kept advancing forward, not threatening but definitely determined.

"So you do feel the same." He replied simply, with a triumphant gleam in his eye. Rachel could have kicked herself for falling into such an obvious trap.

"That's not what I said." She tried to backtrack, still avoiding desks at she retreating from his advance.

"Exactly. You didn't not say it. You agreed with me."

"No, I just…"

"Just what? Rachel, I know you feel this. And I know about your barriers, believe me, I haven't ever known anyone with so many but I am not going to give up on you because of that! It's part of who you are, I don't want to change that. I don't think you've ever been around someone who loves you as much as I do because you obviously think no one would be willing to work with you on getting those protections down. It was bloody awful when you turned me down at the beginning of term, but I know now why you did. And I want you to know I care about you enough to push, to make you let me in a little bit. I won't hurt you, Rachel, I won't push too far, but I am going to do everything I can to get through to you. I love you."

Just as he finished, Rachel's back hit the wall. His tone was desperate, pleading even, and the hopeful edge spiked through her determination not to listen. She'd been darting her gaze around her, anywhere except Eddie, her mind spinning as it tried to deflect his honest intention, his meaningful confession, but as he continued to speak, she was slowly loosing that battle. The minute she backed against the cold plaster behind her, his words began to pierce through her defences. 'I love you' he said. And he meant it, he really meant it. She closed her eyes briefly, taking a long breath to gain back a little composure. Then a familiar scent tickled her nose and when she raised her eyes, she found Eddie stood barely a foot in front of her, his gaze waiting for hers. She bit her lip slightly, mind whirling as it tried to rationalise, to make sense of the feeling flooding her but she couldn't. Why couldn't she? Why was concentrating so difficult?

Slowly, he reached out a hand and encircled one of her wrists with his fingers, drawing her arm away from the wall and guiding her hand up to him. She waited, paralysed by the unknown, as he curled her arm around until the inside of her wrist was displayed to him. Then he pressed a deep, warm kiss to the pulse point he'd exposed, closing his eyes as he did so. The sensation was incredible, her whole body overly-sensitised already, and her neck and knees suddenly went weak, as she released a low but nonetheless audible groan as her eyelids gave in to the urge to slide shut.

At the sound, his eyes flickered open and he drew slowly away from her skin, allowing her control to slip somewhat back into place, forcing her eyelids back up. He smiled faintly at her and tugged on her arm, drawing her forward and she nearly stumbled, off balance, in his direction. He let go of her wrist and slid both arms around her waist, bringing her closer even as she tried to take back some form of control over the situation. He always managed to do this somehow – completely bypass her sense and bring her usually well-guarded feelings forward.

"Eddie-" she tried to speak, though her voice was low, almost a murmur, and one of his arms unwrapped itself from her hips to place three fingers across her mouth.

"Shh." He whispered, and she vaguely registered an amusement and frustration at the sound. She hadn't been 'shh'-ed in years, not since she was a child. Then the friction of his skin against her lips drew her attention back to the situation at hand and she had to severely struggle not to let her eyes slip closed again at the feeling of him running light fingertips over her face. With her mind fogged by the emotion, she didn't recognise his next move until it was too late. His hand scooped around the back of her head and held her in place, then he tipped his own forward and gently brushed his lips across hers.

It was the mark of how amazing a man he was that that was all he did. A moment of contact, to test both of them, before he drew back and met her eyes with his own. Or rather, she suspected that was his intention. Lowered eyes hooded her gaze again, closed in a fleeting pleasure she could not deny she wanted to experience again. When he saw that, she knew he would know he'd won. She could not fight him anymore. His words from earlier were still pounding in her mind, 'I don't think you've ever been with someone who loves you as much as I do' and he was completely right. She had nothing to be afraid of with him.

She raised her eyes with difficulty and met his loving gaze, feeling the adoration pour out of him towards her, and she smiled. The signal he needed. He beamed in response and leant back in, firmly moulding his mouth against hers this time, determined to show her how much he'd longed for this moment. Barriers and protections she'd held in place for years evaporated under his kiss, possibly not forever, but certainly for now, as she let herself respond, one hand sliding over his shoulder, the other around his chest, pressing closer as the need to be near him asserted itself.

Minutes passed by them unawares, as they acquainted themselves with each other, the kiss deepening and then lessening, as they wished. Rachel was lost in the contact, the feeling, everything about the moment they now had and Eddie's reactions spoke of a similar absorption. She'd never felt so loved, so honestly desired. Then a sound penetrated their haze; the school bell ringing to signal lessons ending. And though they neither of them immediately acknowledged it, they did eventually have to draw away because of it.

With a sort of quivering anticipation, they found each other's eyes and smiled, a hand brushing the other's face gently before they moved away completely and the outside world began to filter back into their conscious minds. Eddie had a class to teach, and Rachel had paperwork to deal with. But they did not want to part. Hearing lots of feet begin to make their ways into the corridor outside, Rachel lightly brushed a hand down from Eddie's cheek to find his hand, giving him a light reassuring pressure before stepping away slowly, knowing they could not be caught like this.

He nodded and turned to leave, his obligations demanding a stricter time keeping than hers. Rachel assumed he would go and leant back on the wall behind her, her smile still upturning her lips and a wild, delirious happiness shooting through her. Then she heard footsteps coming back towards her and looked up, Eddie approaching with a determined expression she recognised. Before she could remind him that he had a class waiting, he had slid a hand behind her neck and was pressing his lips to hers again, and she could not keep herself from returning the movement.

After thoroughly kissing her again, he broke gently away and brushed his lips over the tip of her nose, a smile climbing his face again. She laughed and shook her head, her hands that had somehow come to rest on his shoulders being used to push them both slightly away from each other.

"Mr Lawson, you have a class waiting for you, and I have files that need to be looked at." She teased, a flirtatious smile that was almost a smirk hovering over her mouth. He huffed and brushed another set of butterfly kisses over her cheeks.

"Don't want to go." He muttered into her ear, his husky tone almost making her forget what she should be saying.

"You have to." She insisted, although other than speaking, she did very little against letting him continue.

"Do I really have to?" He whined slightly against her jaw, finding the spot that made her release a small, longing moan.

"Yes." She gasped, finally fining the strength to push him away and look sternly into his eyes. "Yes, you do. We can finish this tonight." She told him and saw his eyes light up with hope and anticipation.

"You'll let me take you out to dinner?" He asked excitedly.

"I was thinking a night in at home, movie maybe?" She offered, her own face filled with warm.

"Sounds great to me." He grinned, brushing one last kiss to her mouth before finally pulling away and going over to the door. Rachel pulled herself straight and ran a hand through her somewhat tousled hair, her smile lingering. Just as he was about to leave, he paused at the door and she looked up. "I'll see you at lunch." He told her with a smile, and she nodded, knowing she was already not looking forward to the two hours before she would see him again. He opened the door and was on the point of passing through it when she called out.

"And Mr Lawson," he turned back to her again, and she let a playful glint into her expression, "if you ever 'shh' me again, you are in serious trouble." Rachel told him and he winked, before sliding out of the room to join the throng of students now pacing through the corridors to their next lessons. Taking a deep, slow breath, Rachel waited a moment before following him, wondering how on earth she could feel this happy. While her feet finally followed her original route and took her to her office, her head was already skipping ahead to lunchtime, seeing Eddie, and sharing one of those incredible kisses again. It seemed almost unreal now that she had ever gone without them.


End file.
